It is hard to be a Christian Man. I admit to a certain jealousy of Moslem men. I think that one of the surest ways of knowing that the Koran was not dictated by an Angel is that the doctrine so obviously caters to man’s animal nature. Christianity is about getting us away from our animal nature and making us more Godlike. Even so, I find Christian marriage especially hard.
Christianity has always had the problem of not following the culture of the day. Whether it is empires or vegetarianism someone is always taking their own ideas and justifying from the Bible. And they get their ideas from the culture of the day. I believe that Christianity today has been heavily influenced by feminism. This influence has caused us to – as usual – emphasize one part of the Bible and ignore another. Today we emphasize the ‘Husbands love your wives’ and de-emphasize the ‘wives obey your husbands’. No doubt, the people who do this think they are being holier than the ones who emphasized those verses the other way.
Now to the point. So far in my life I have not read a Christian book on marriage or took a Christian marriage enrichment course that did not try to make men more sensitive or to understand their wives better. The emphasis is always on men becoming more like women or on making allowances for women. There is never any emphasis on woman understanding men implying that somehow being a man is wrong and un-Christian.
So far – and I acknowledge that my experience may not be universal – I have never heard or read a Christian teacher say “Look ladies, it is hard enough for a man to say faithful to the same woman his whole life. If he doesn’t want to spend all evening warming you up for sex so what. For that matter why not suck his brains out once-in-a-while.”